Story 61
Phileas has now set off on a grand ship to the USA, but on his travel across the sea he started to think about Pirates and wondered if they might meet any on the journey. So we went to ask the head cabin boy if he knew of any Pirates around these parts. "I am afraid I am not allowed to let any information about Pirates out" replied the cabin boy, "but I do have a story about Pirates if you wish to hear it?" "Yes please" replied Phileas excitedly. "OK make yourself comfortable and I shall begin"
Allison's Alligator
Alex alligator arrived at Allison Arthur's apple farm in April, when the apple trees were covered with blossoms.
"Whatever am I to do with an alligator?" Allison asked.
Inside the box, Alex yawned. Alex stuck his legs through the holes at the bottom of the box and ambled into the house in search of dinner.
"Oh no you don't!" cried Allison. "You cannot live in the house. You are to stay in the stream behind the apple orchard."
Allison put Alex in the small stream. Then Allison put a strong fence around the stream so Alex did not try to eat Mrs. Chory's chickens.
Alex liked the stream and his pen. He especially liked the steaks Allison gave him every morning and evening.
One day in August a red apple fell off a tree and rolled under the fence and into Alex's pen. Alex sniffed it a bit and then took a bite.
It was the most delicious thing Alex had ever eaten. Alex slipped under the fence and ambled into the apple orchard. Alex found a line of baskets sitting under a tree. Alex ate all the apples in the baskets. Then he wandered under another tree and ate all the apples in the baskets he found there. He was very happy. And very full. He went back into his cage.
Allison came by later with his steak. Alex sniffed at it, but he was not very hungry.
"Do you know what someone did Alex?" asked Allison. Alex yawned. "Someone stole all my apples. They knocked over the baskets and stole the apples. If it happens again, I'm calling the police."
That night, Alex had a very pleasant dream about apples. After his steak the next morning, Alex slipped under the fence and out into the orchard. There were a bunch of people climbing up and down ladders with baskets. Alex watched for a few moments. Then he realized that when the people came down the ladders, their baskets were full of apples.
Alex wandered over to the closest ladder. A small girl descended with a basket full of apples. Alex grinned at her. The little girl screamed and dropped the basket. She ran away, yelling for her mother. Alex stuck his head in the basket and began eating apples. He heard voices coming towards him.
"Now April, you know what I've said about fibbing. There are no alligators in this orchard." said April's mother. Alex pulled his head out of the basket and grinned at April's mother.
"Ahhhh!" she screamed. April and her mother ran away as fast as they could.
Alex walked over to another tree. A man was climbing down the ladder. He stepped on Alex's back. Alex grunted and tried to walk away. The man looked down at Alex and yelped. The man dropped his basket and ran toward the house. Alex ate all the apples in his basket.
Just then, Allison came running into the orchard.
"Alex!" she yelled. Alex took one look at Allison and bolted back into his pen. Allison followed him.
"So you're the one who ate all my apples." she said. "I'd better fix your cage."
Once Alex's cage was fixed, he could no longer go into the apple orchard. Alex stared longingly at the trees full of apples.
At dinner time, Allison brought Alex a steak as usual.
"You are a bad boy, Ales," she said. "But I can't blame you for liking apples. I brought you a surprise."
Allison went outside the cage, and picked up a basket. It was full of apples! Alex ate all the apples before he ate his steak.
Find the story at: http://americanfolklore.net/folklore/2010/07/allisons_alligator.html
Story 63
Phileas had so much fun with the last tongue twister story he really wanted to leave you another one, so he went to the nearest library to find one for you. And he managed to find the perfect one...
Bakery Bear
Brenda was busy baking a batch of blueberry muffins in the kitchen of Butler's Bakery when the bell rang.
"Be with you in a bit," Brenda called, brushing her blond braid over her shoulder.
Brenda put the blueberry muffins into the oven and bustled into the store. A big brown bear stood with his paws on the counter.
"Grumph," said the big brown bear.
"Aaaaa!" said Brenda Butler.
Brenda ran out through the back door to get Bill Boyle, the policeman.
"Bill, there is a big brown bear in the bakery!" Brenda cried.
"A bear?" Bill asked.
Bill followed Brenda into the bakery. The bear was busy eating blintz's and a bunch of bagels. It looked at Bill Boyle and grunted bad-temperedly.
"Here bear. Nice bear," Bill said nervously.
The bear gave Bill a baleful grin. Bill backed away. The bear ambled toward Bill. Bill ran.
"Oh boy," Brenda babbled and fled from the store.
"I'd better call Barney," Bill told Brenda.
Barney Blake was the local dogcatcher for the town of Bradley. Barney drove up in his big blue van and hopped out.
"Where's the bear?" Barney asked Brenda.
"It's in the bakery," Brenda said.
Barney took a big net and went into the bakery. Brenda heard a bang. Grabbing a broom from the closet, Brenda rushed into the store. Barney was standing on a bench, waving his arms and yelling "Shoo!" at the bear. The bear was biting Barney's black boots hungrily.
Brenda beat the bear with the broom. "Back off, you big bully," Brenda shouted.
When the bear bit the broom, Barney jumped off the bench and ran out of the bakery. Brenda followed.
"What happened to your net?" asked Brenda breathlessly.
"The bear broke it," said Barney.
A wave off smoke came billowing out the back door of the bakery.
"My blueberry muffins are burning!" cried Brenda. She raced into the kitchen.
As Brenda removed the burnt blueberry muffins from the oven, the bear came into the kitchen.
"Shoo you bumbling brute," Brenda said to it. "You are bad for business. You made me burn my muffins."
Brenda threw a blueberry muffin at the bear. The bear ate the muffin and went back into the store.
"Is it gone?" asked Bill, as he and Barney came cautiously into the kitchen.
"The bear is in the store," said Brenda. "I have a plan."
Brenda sent Bill to get some honeycomb and had Barney back his van behind the bakery. Meanwhile, Brenda beat up a batch of buttermilk biscuits. Then she mixed the honey from the honeycomb into the batter. Soon, the kitchen was bursting with the smell of honey buttermilk biscuits.
The loud banging noises the bear was making in the bakery store ceased abruptly as the bear smelled the honey. Brenda carried the big batch of biscuits out to the van. Bill opened the back door. The breeze blew the smell of the honey-buttermilk biscuits into the bakery. The bear nudged open the swinging door of the bakery and ambled into the kitchen. He knocked over the big brown bowl and grumbled when he found no honey.
Then the bear sniffed his way out the back door. Brenda had placed the basket of biscuits at the back of Barney's van. The bear bounded up the ramp and Barney banged the door shut. Brenda and Bill cheered.
"I will take the bear back to the forest and let him out," said Barney.
While Barney and the bear drove away in the blue van, Brenda and Bill bustled back into the bakery to clean up.
Find this story from: http://americanfolklore.net/folklore/2010/07/the_bakery_bear.html
Story Number 64
Pokoh, The Old Man - The Ute Tribe's Creation Myth
As Phileas Travelled around the Beautiful Salt Lake City of Utah, he started to wonder, like he did in Egypt, how this beautiful came to be? So he decided to ask around. The first man he bumped into was scoffing his face with Utah Scones, "Excuse me their Sir," said Phileas, "I don't supposed you could..." "Hey Buddy! I'm eating here," Shouted the man, "Go bother someone else!" So Phileas swiftly moved on. The next person he saw was a preacher, but Phileas had heard that all before. He decided that he would go further a field to find his answer. Eventually Phileas came across a tribe of Native Americans, who were called the Ute tribe. The tribe were in the middle of a ritual, the women were sat around watching whilst the men were dancing, stomping and singing. Phileas quietly crept over and joined the women, he leaned over and asked an elderly woman "Excuse me, but please could you explain what is going on." The woman smiled and said "This is an ancient celebrating the creation of the world, please stay and watch." Phileas laughed to himself and sat and watched the performance. Later the tribes elder explained the story to Phileas, and it went like this...
The Ute tribe say that Pokoh, an old man, created the world. Pokoh had many thoughts. He had many blankets in which he carried around gifts for men. He created every tribe out of the soil where they used to live.
That is why an Indian wants to live and die in his native place. He was made of the same soil. Pokoh did not wish men to wander and travel, but to remain in their birthplace.
Long ago, The Sun was a man, a bad man, but the moon was good. The Sun used to carry around a quiver of deadly arrows, which he used to use to kill all things.
The sun has two daughters, Venus and Mercury. One day twenty men tried to kill Venus and Mercury, but after fifty days they return to life.
The rainbow is the daughter of Pokoh, and her body is covered in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet flowers.
One day the lightning struck the ground and filled the flint with fire.
There are many worlds. Some have passed and some are still to come. In world the Indians all creep; in another they all walk; in another they all fly. Perhaps in a world to come Indians may walk on four legs, slither like snakes or swim like fish.
Story Number 65
Coyote and The Red Ants
Phileas enjoyed the Ute's performance so much, he decided that he would stay for a few more nights and learn more about this tribe and hear more of their stories. One night, Phileas was sitting on a log enjoying some delicious food when suddenly he felt an excruciating pain on his leg "OW! OW! I've been bitten by something OW! It feels like my leg is on fire!" Screamed Phileas, Phileas was jumping around in pain and the whole Ute tribe burst into laughter and started chanting "Coyote, Coyote, Coyote" "What? Who's a Coyote?" Asked Phileas, "Oh! You don't know who Coyote is," said an old woman, "well, we must tell you the story of Coyote and The Red Ants." So Phileas, with more caution sat back on the log and listened to the old woman's story...
Coyote agreed and promised that he would not step on them, mess with them or get in their way. As you may know, Coyote has a short attention span and bad memory, and he was very quickly distracted by the ants other activities and he asked, "what are you doing? I see you people run to a place and then come back. I see you carrying little stones and sticks to your hole. I don't know why you do that. There must be someone in there who tells you to do it. Can you let me go down and see." "There is not enough room for you, it's too dark down there and have you forgotten your agreement already? If you try to go in there, we might bite you." Said the ants
"I'm not afraid. You are small. Even if you do bite me it wont hurt. Come on, bite me. My body is tough," said Coyote who was now sticking his tongue out at the ants, "my tongue is tough, go on bite it, I will show you." "You'll swallow us when we get on your tongue." Said the ant, "well if you don't trust me, you can get on my lips," insisted Coyote, "all right, if you insist," said the ant. So the ant climbed up onto Coyote's lip and bit Coyote on the tongue. Coyote howled, put his hand up and scratched at the ant. He jumped and he kicked and he ran away as fast as he could. The ants watched and laughed as Coyote ran away screaming, "you should have kept your promise, silly Coyote, they call us fire ants for a reason."
Story 66!
Phileas has been enjoying his time in Salt Lake City USA. Here is a map of America so you can find it for yourself:  Image from: http://www.uknetguide.co.uk/Holiday-Guides/North-America/United-states/Salt_Lake_City_has_a_population_of_17_million.html Salt Lake City is the Capital city of the state of Utah. It has a very large population. Phileas was told the scary tale of the Bear Lake Monster...here it is for you to read!
Bear Lake Monster
If you travel to Bear Lake in Utah on a quiet day, you just might catch a glimpse of the Bear Lake Monster. The monster looks like a huge brown snake and is nearly 90 feet long. It has ears that stick out from the side of its skinny head and a mouth big enough to eat a man. According to some, it has small legs and it kind of scurries when it ventures out on land. But in the water - watch out! It can swim faster than a horse can gallop - makes a mile a minute on a good day. Sometimes the monster likes to sneak up on unwary swimmers and blow water at them. The ones it doesn't carry off to eat, that is.
A feller I heard about spotted the monster early one evening as he was walking along the lake. He tried to shoot it with his rifle. The man was a crack shot, but not one of his bullets touched that monster. It scared the heck out of him and he high tailed it home faster than you can say Jack Robinson. Left his rifle behind him and claimed the monster ate it.
Sometimes, when the monster has been quiet for a while, people start saying it is gone for good. Some folks even dredge up that old tale that says how Pecos Bill heard about the Bear Lake monster and bet some cowpokes that he could wrestle that monster until it said uncle. According to them folks, the fight lasted for days and created a hurricane around Bear Lake. Finally, Bill flung that there monster over his shoulder and it flew so far it went plumb around the world and landed in Loch Ness, where it lives to this day.
Course, we know better than that. The Bear Lake Monster is just hibernating-like. Keep your eyes open at dusk and maybe you'll see it come out to feed. Just be careful swimming in the lake, or you might be its next meal!
A Utah Ghost Story retold by S. E. Schlosser, on http://americanfolklore.net/folklore/2010/07/the_bear_lake_monster.html
Story 67
Phileas also heard some Native American stories whilst in Utah, stories that had been passed on to some of the rail road workers. Here is one of those stories...
How the Rainbow Was Made
One day when the earth was new, Nanabozho looked out the window of his house beside the wide waterfall and realized that all of the flowers in his meadow were exactly the same off-white color. How boring! He decided to make a change, so he gathered up his paints and his paintbrushes and went out to the meadow.
Nanabozho sat down in the tall grass and arranged his red and orange and yellow and green and blue and violet paint pots next to him. Then he began to paint the flowers in his meadow in many different colors. He painted the violets dark blue and the tiger lilies orange with brown dots. He made the roses red and pink and purple. He painted the pansies in every color combination he could think of. Then he painted every single daffodil bright yellow. Nanabozho hummed happily to himself as he worked in the brilliant daylight provided by Brother Sun.
Overhead, two little bluebirds were playing games with each other. The first little bluebird would chase his friend across the meadow one way. Then they would turn around and the second bluebird would chase him back the other way. Zippity-zip went the first bluebird as he raced across the sky. Zappity-zing went the second bluebird as he chased him in the brilliant sunshine.
Occasionally, Nanabozho would shade his eyes and look up…up into the endless blue sky to watch the two little birds playing. Then he went back to work, painting yellow centers in the white daisies. Above him, the two birds decided to see how fast they could dive down to the green fields below them. The first bluebird sailed down and down, and then pulled himself up sharply just before he touched the ground. As he soared passed Nanabozho, his right wing dipped into the red paint pot. When the second bluebird dove toward the grass, his left wing grazed the orange paint pot.
Nanabozho scolded the two birds, but they kept up their game, diving down toward the grass where he sat painting and then flying back up into the sky. Soon their feet and feathers were covered with paint of all colors. Finally Nanabozho stood up and waved his arms to shoo the birds away.
Reluctantly, the bluebirds flew away from Nanabozho and his paint pots, looking for another game to play. They started chasing each other again, sailing this way and that over top of the giant waterfall that stood next to Nanabozho's house. Zippity-zip, the first bluebird flew through the misty spray of the waterfall. The first bluebird left a long red paint streak against the sky. Zappity-zing, the second bluebird chased his friend through the mist, leaving an orange paint streak. Then the birds turned to go back the other way. This time, the first bluebird left a yellow paint streak and the second left a pretty blue-violet paint streak. As they raced back and forth, the colors grew more vivid. When Brother Sun shone on the colors, they sparkled radiantly through the mist of the waterfall.
Below them, Nanabozho looked up in delight when the brilliant colors spilled over his meadow. A gorgeous arch of red and orange and yellow and green and blue and violet shimmered in the sky above the waterfall. Nanabozho smiled at the funny little bluebirds and said: "You have made a rainbow!"
Nanabozho was so pleased that he left the rainbow permanently floating above his waterfall, its colors shimmering in the sunshine and the misting water. From that day to this, whenever Brother Sun shines his light on the rain or the mist, a beautiful rainbow forms. It is a reflection of the mighty rainbow that still stands over the waterfall at Nanabozho's house.
A Creation Tale from the Ojibwe Nation retold by S. E. Schlosser on http://americanfolklore.net/folklore/2012/10/how_the_rainbow_was_made.html
Story 68
Phileas travelled by the Pacific Express Railway around America and has now arrived in Chicago. On his way, he heard this tongue twister, I hope you enjoy it!
Freddy's Fabulous Frogs
A Tongue Twister Tale
by
S.E. Schlosser
Fabian Frogmorton stole Freddy's frog Fats on the Friday of the town of Flowerpot's Fabulous Frogs Contest. Freddy was furious. Fabian Frogmorton had cheated Freddy out of the Fabulous Frog Award last year. Fabian had fed Freddy's frog flies just before the Fast Frog Frolic, the final race in Flowerpot's Fabulous Frogs Contest. Freddy's frog had been too full to frolic, so Fabian's frog had finished first.
Freddy reported the theft to Flossie French, the teacher in charge of Flowerpot's Fabulous Frogs Contest.
"Fabian Frogmorton registered Fats as his frog." Flossie French fussed. "Can you prove Fats is your frog?"
Since Freddy couldn't prove he'd found Fats in the pond last Friday, Flossie French couldn't do anything about the theft. Freddy was frantic. He did not want Fabian to win Flowerpot's Fabulous Frogs Contest for the fourth Fall in a row.
Freddy had to find another frog. During lunch, Freddy went down to Felix Frasier's creek. Freddy was still fuming about Fabian, and he did not see the tiny frog until the frog jumped away from him. It was the highest hop, made by the teeniest frog that Freddy Friedman had ever seen!
Freddy chased the frog all the way up the bank of Felix Frazier's stream before he caught it. The frog opened its tiny mouth and croaked furiously in protest. It was the most fabulous sound Freddy had ever heard.
"You are the littlest flibbertigibbet I have ever seen!" exclaimed Freddy. "I am going to name you Flib."
Freddy hugged Flib and ran back to school to show Flib to his friends. Freddy's friends laughed when they saw Flib. They said that Freddy would never win Flowerpot's Fabulous Frogs Contest with such a tiny frog.
"Don't fret Flib," Freddy said. "You are far faster than my old frog Fats. Fabian Frogmorton will not win Flowerpot's Fabulous Frogs Contest."
Flossie French chuckled when she registered Flib the frog, but she also patted Freddy's hand sympathetically and said: "Flib is a fine frog, Freddy. Good luck."
There were three trials in Flowerpot's Fabulous Frogs Contest. The frog which won the most trials was declared the most Fabulous Frog in Flowerpot. The first contest was Foghorn Frog, the loudest croaker. Freddy knew that Fats was a famous croaker. Fabian was sure to win.
The contestants stood up front with their frogs. Freddy's friends cheered for Flib from the fringes of the crowd. Fabian Frogmorton laughed scornfully when he saw Freddy's frog Flib.
When it was his turn, Fabian pinched Fats really hard to make him croak. Fats bellowed loudly in pain. Then Flib opened his little mouth and croaked so loud Freddy clapped his hands to his ears.
"Flib wins the Foghorn Frog Contest," Flossie Ffrench said. Freddy's friends cheered and shouted from the fringes of the crowd.
"That's not fair!" Fabian whined.
The second contest was the Frog Long Jump. Freddy had seen how far Flib could jump. Freddy was sure Flib would win. Freddy and Flib lined up with the other contestants. Each contestant urged his frog to leap as far as it could. Flossie French measured the frog's first jump. Freddy and Flib came just before Fabian and Fats. Freddy's friends cheered and chanted as Flib jumped farther than the other frogs. When Flossie French had her back turned, Fabian Frogmorton stepped on Fats. Fats croaked in pain and leapt away from Fabian. Fats jumped even farther than Flib.
"Fats is the winner!" said Flossie French.
Freddy's friends booed.
The final trial was the Fast Frog Frolic. The contestants and their frogs lined up. Flossie French fired the gun and all the frogs jumped in surprise and began hopping in all directions.
"Go Flib, go Flib!" chanted Freddy's friends. While Flib hopped fast and furiously, Fats sat at the starting line and wouldn't move. Fabian fussed and fumed. Finally, he kicked Fats. This time, Flossie French saw Fabian cheating and disqualified him from the race.
To Freddy's delight, Flib crossed the finish line first.
"Flib is the winner of Flowerpot's Fabulous Frog Contest!" cried Flossie French.
Everyone cheered wildly. Fabian howled in fury and threw Fats on the ground in disgust.
Flossie French presented Freddy with "Flowerpot's Fabulous Frog" award. Then Flossie Ffrench picked up Fats and handed him to Freddy.
"Freddy, here is Fats." said Flossie French. "You have two fabulous frogs. Take good care of them."
"I will," Freddy promised.
Freddy took Flib and Fats over to Felix Frasier's Stream and set them free. Flib and Fats floated near the lily pads and peeked out at Freddy.
"Have a good year," Freddy said to his fabulous frogs. "See you next Fall!"
Then Freddy went home to show his family his hard-won Fabulous Frog Award, while Fabian lurked in the shadows and fumed.
Moral: Cheaters never prosper.
Story 69
When he arrived in Chicago, Phileas heard some buskers singing a song about the Great Fire of Chicago. Now Phileas knew that there was a Great Fire in London in 1666 but didn't know about the fire in Chicago. The fire took place in 1871 and burnt for two whole days. The fire started because Mrs O'Leary left a candle in the shed with her cow and her cow knocked it over. SO make sure you don't leave fires unattended.
The song went like this, why not learn the lyrics and we can sing it at the Fairlop Fair:
Late Last Night, Before She Went to Bed, Mrs O'Leary Left a Candle in the Shed and When the Cow Knocked it over, Shook Her Head and Then She Said, There'll Be Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight Rah, Rah, Rah.
Story 70
While Phileas was in Chicago he knew he had to try and find another story as his journey was coming near to the end and he needed 10 more stories to complete his mission. So he went to a coffee shop as he knew their is always someone their with a history or a story to tell. And as he thought once he got their their was a nice old man who was willing to tell him a story, and Phileas posted it on here for you all to see...
The Fisherman and his Wife
There was once upon a time a fisherman who lived with his wife in a pig-stye close by the sea, and every day he went out fishing. And he fished, and he fished. And once he was sitting with his rod, looking at the clear water, and he sat and he sat. Then his line suddenly went down, far down below, and when he drew it up again, he brought out a large flounder.
Then the flounder said to him, "Hark, you fisherman, I pray you, let me live, I am no flounder really, but an enchanted prince. What good will it do you to kill me. I should not be good to eat, put me in the water again, and let me go."
"Come," said the fisherman, "there is no need for so many words about it - a fish that can talk I should certainly let go, anyhow."
And with that he put him back again into the clear water, and the flounder went to the bottom, leaving a long streak of blood behind him. Then the fisherman got up and went home to his wife in the pig-stye.
"Husband," said the woman, "have you caught nothing to-day."
"No," said the man, "I did catch a flounder, who said he was an enchanted prince, so I let him go again."
"Did you not wish for anything first?" said the woman.
"No," said the man, "what should I wish for?"
"Ah," said the woman, "it is surely hard to have to live always in this pig-stye which stinks and is so disgusting. You might have wished for a little hut for us. Go back and call him. Tell him we want to have a little hut, he will certainly give us that."
"Ah," said the man, "why should I go there again?"
"Why?" said the woman, "you did catch him, and you let him go again. He is sure to do it. Go at once."
The man still did not quite like to go, but did not like to oppose his wife either, and went to the sea. When he got there the sea was all green and yellow, and no longer so smooth, so he stood still and said,
"Flounder, flounder in the sea,
Come, I pray thee, here to me. For my wife, good ilsabil, Wills not as I'd have her will."
Then the flounder came swimming to him and said, "Well what does she want, then."
"Ah," said the man, "I did catch you, and my wife says I really ought to have wished for something. She does not like to live in a pig-stye any longer. She would like to have a hut."
"Go, then," said the flounder, "she has it already."
When the man went home, his wife was no longer in the stye, but instead of it there stood a hut, and she was sitting on a bench before the door. Then she took him by the hand and said to him, "Just come inside. Look, now isn't this a great deal better?"
So they went in, and there was a small porch, and a pretty little parlor and bedroom, and a kitchen and pantry, with the best of furniture, and fitted up with the most beautiful things made of tin and brass, whatsoever was wanted. And behind the hut there was a small yard, with hens and ducks, and a little garden with flowers and fruit.
"Look," said the wife, "is not that nice?"
"Yes," said the husband, "and so it shall remain - now we will live quite contented."
"We will think about that," said the wife. With that they ate something and went to bed.
Everything went well for a week or a fortnight, and then the woman said, "Hark you, husband, this hut is far too small for us, and the garden and yard are little. The flounder might just as well have given us a larger house. I should like to live in a great stone castle. Go to the flounder, and tell him to give us a castle."
"Ah, wife," said the man, "the hut is quite good enough. Why whould we live in a castle?"
"What?" said the woman. "Just go there, the flounder can always do that."
"No, wife," said the man, "the flounder has just given us the hut, I do not like to go back so soon, it might make him angry."
"Go," said the woman, "he can do it quite easily, and will be glad to do it. Just you go to him."
The man's heart grew heavy, and he would not go. He said to himself, it is not right, and yet he went. And when he came to the sea the water was quite purple and dark-blue, and grey and thick, and no longer so green and yellow, but it was still quiet. And he stood there and said,
"Flounder, flounder in the sea,
Come, I pray thee, here to me. For my wife, good ilsabil, Wills not as I'd have her will."
"Well, what does she want, now?" said the flounder.
"Alas, said the man, half scared, "she wants to live in a great stone castle."
"Go to it, then, she is standing before the door," said the flounder.
Then the man went away, intending to go home, but when he got there, he found a great stone palace, and his wife was just standing on the steps going in, and she took him by the hand and said, "Come in."
So he went in with her, and in the castle was a great hall paved with marble, and many servants, who flung wide the doors. And the walls were all bright with beautiful hangings, and in the rooms were chairs and tables of pure gold, and crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and all the rooms and bedrooms had carpets, and food and wine of the very best were standing on all the tables, so that they nearly broke down beneath it. Behind the house, too, there was a great court-yard, with stables for horses and cows, and the very best of carriages. There was a magnificent large garden, too, with the most beautiful flowers and fruit-trees, and a park quite half a mile long, in which were stags, deer, and hares, and everything that could be desired.
"Come," said the woman, "isn't that beautiful?"
"Yes, indeed," said the man, "now let it be, and we will live in this beautiful castle and be content."
"We will consider about that," said the woman, "and sleep upon it." Thereupon they went to bed.
Next morning the wife awoke first, and it was just daybreak, and from her bed she saw the beautiful country lying before her. Her husband was still stretching himself, so she poked him in the side with her elbow, and said, "Get up, husband, and just peep out of the window. Look you, couldn't we be the king over all that land. Go to the flounder, we will be the king."
"Ah, wife," said the man, "why should we be king? I do not want to be king."
"Well," said the wife, "if you won't be king, I will. Go to the flounder, for I will be king."
"Ah, wife," said the man, "why do you want to be king? I do not like to say that to him."
"Why not?" said the woman. "Go to him this instant. I must be king."
So the man went, and was quite unhappy because his wife wished to be king. It is not right, it is not right, thought he. He did not wish to go, but yet he went. And when he came to the sea, it was quite dark-grey, and the water heaved up from below, and smelt putrid. Then he went and stood by it, and said,
"Flounder, flounder in the sea,
Come, I pray thee, here to me. For my wife, good ilsabil, Wills not as I'd have her will."
"Well, what does she want, now?" said the flounder.
"Alas, said the man, she wants to be king."
"Go to her. She is king already."
So the man went, and when he came to the palace, the castle had become much larger, and had a great tower and magnificent ornaments, and the sentinel was standing before the door, and there were numbers of soldiers with kettle-drums and trumpets. And when he went inside the house, everything was of real marble and gold, with velvet covers and great golden tassels. Then the doors of the hall were opened, and there was the court in all its splendor, and his wife was sitting on a high throne of gold and diamonds, with a great crown of gold on her head, and a sceptre of pure gold and jewels in her hand, and on both sides of her stood her maids-in-waiting in a row, each of them always one head shorter than the last.
Then he went and stood before her, and said, "Ah, wife, and now you are king."
"Yes," said the woman, "now I am king."
So he stood and looked at her, and when he had looked at her thus for some time, he said, "And now that you are king, let all else be, now we will wish for nothing more."
"No, husband," said the woman, quite anxiously, "I find time passes very heavily, I can bear it no longer. Go to the flounder - I am king, but I must be emperor, too."
"Oh, wife, why do you wish to be emperor?"
"Husband," said she, "go to the flounder. I will be emperor."
"Alas, wife," said the man, "he cannot make you emperor. I may not say that to the fish. There is only one emperor in the land. An emperor the flounder cannot make you. I assure you he cannot."
"What?" said the woman, "I am the king, and you are nothing but my husband. Will you go this moment? Go at once. If he can make a king he can make an emperor. I will be emperor. Go instantly."
So he was forced to go. As the man went, however, he was troubled in mind, and thought to himself, it will not end well. It will not end well. Emperor is too shameless. The flounder will at last be tired out. With that he reached the sea, and the sea was quite black and thick, and began to boil up from below, so that it threw up bubbles, and such a sharp wind blew over it that it curdled, and the man was afraid. Then he went and stood by it, and said,
"Flounder, flounder in the sea,
Come, I pray thee, here to me. For my wife, good ilsabil, Wills not as I'd have her will."
"Well, what does she want, now?" said the flounder.
"Alas, flounder," said he, "my wife wants to be emperor."
"Go to her," said the flounder. "She is emperor already."
So the man went, and when he got there the whole palace was made of polished marble with alabaster figures and golden ornaments, and soldiers were marching before the door blowing trumpets, and beating cymbals and drums. And in the house, barons, and counts, and dukes were going about as servants. Then they opened the doors to him, which were of pure gold. And when he entered, there sat his wife on a throne, which was made of one piece of gold, and was quite two miles high. And she wore a great golden crown that was three yards high, and set with diamonds and carbuncles, and in one hand she had the sceptre, and in the other the imperial orb. And on both sides of her stood the yeomen of the guard in two rows, each being smaller than the one before him, from the biggest giant, who was two miles high, to the very smallest dwarf, just as big as my little finger. And before it stood a number of princes and dukes.
Then the man went and stood among them, and said, "Wife, are you emperor now."
"Yes," said she, now I am emperor.
Then he stood and looked at her well, and when he had looked at her thus for some time, he said, "Ah, wife, be content, now that you are emperor."
"Husband," said she, "why are you standing there? Now, I am emperor, but I will be pope too. Go to the flounder."
"Oh, wife, said the man, what will you not wish for? You cannot be pope. There is but one in Christendom. He cannot make you pope."
"Husband, said she, I will be pope. Go immediately, I must be pope this very day."
"No, wife," said the man, "I do not like to say that to him. That would not do, it is too much. The flounder can't make you pope."
"Husband," said she, "what nonsense! If he can make an emperor he can make a pope. Go to him directly. I am emperor, and you are nothing but my husband. Will you go at once."
Then he was afraid and went, but he was quite faint, and shivered and shook, and his knees and legs trembled. And a high wind blew over the land, and the clouds flew, and towards evening all grew dark, and the leaves fell from the trees, and the water rose and roared as if it were boiling, and splashed upon the shore. And in the distance he saw ships which were firing guns in their sore need, pitching and tossing on the waves. And yet in the midst of the sky there was still a small patch of blue, though on every side it was as red as in a heavy storm. So, full of despair, he went and stood in much fear and said,
"Flounder, flounder in the sea,
Come, I pray thee, here to me. For my wife, good ilsabil, Wills not as I'd have her will."
"Well, what does she want, now?" said the flounder.
"Alas," said the man, "she wants to be pope."
"Go to her then," said the flounder, "she is pope already."
So he went, and when he got there, he saw what seemed to be a large church surrounded by palaces. He pushed his way through the crowd. Inside, however, everything was lighted up with thousands and thousands of candles, and his wife was clad in gold, and she was sitting on a much higher throne, and had three great golden crowns on, and round about her there was much ecclesiastical splendor. And on both sides of her was a row of candles the largest of which was as tall as the very tallest tower, down to the very smallest kitchen candle, and all the emperors and kings were on their knees before her, kissing her shoe. Wife, said the man, and looked attentively at her, are you now pope. Yes, said she, I am pope. So he stood and looked at her, and it was just as if he was looking at the bright sun.
When he had stood looking at her thus for a short time, he said, "Ah, wife, if you are pope, do let well alone."
But she looked as stiff as a post, and did not move or show any signs of life.
Then said he, "Wife, now that you are pope, be satisfied, you cannot become anything greater now."
"I will consider about that," said the woman. Thereupon they both went to bed, but she was not satisfied, and greediness let her have no sleep, for she was continually thinking what there was left for her to be. The man slept well and soundly, for he had run about a great deal during the day. But the woman could not fall asleep at all, and flung herself from one side to the other the whole night through, thinking always what more was left for her to be, but unable to call to mind anything else. At length the sun began to rise, and when the woman saw the red of dawn, she sat up in bed and looked at it. And when, through the window, she saw the sun thus rising, she said, "Cannot I, too, order the sun and moon to rise?"
"Husband," she said, poking him in the ribs with her elbows, "wake up. Go to the flounder, for I wish to be even as God is."
The man was still half asleep, but he was so horrified that he fell out of bed. He thought he must have heard amiss, and rubbed his eyes, and said, "Wife, what are you saying?"
"Husband," said she, "if I can't order the sun and moon to rise, and have to look on and see the sun and moon rising, I can't bear it. I shall not know what it is to have another happy hour, unless I can make them rise myself." Then she looked at him so terribly that a shudder ran over him, and said, "Go at once. I wish to be like unto God."
"Alas, wife," said the man, falling on his knees before her, "the flounder cannot do that. He can make an emperor and a pope. I beseech you, go on as you are, and be pope."
Then she fell into a rage, and her hair flew wildly about her head, she tore open her bodice, kicked him with her foot, and screamed, "I can't stand it, I can't stand it any longer. Will you go this instant.?"
Then he put on his trousers and ran away like a madman. But outside a great storm was raging, and blowing so hard that he could scarcely keep his feet. Houses and trees toppled over, the mountains trembled, rocks rolled into the sea, the sky was pitch black, and it thundered and lightened, and the sea came in with black waves as high as church-towers and mountains, and all with crests of white foam at the top. Then he cried, but could not hear his own words,
"Flounder, flounder in the sea,
Come, I pray thee, here to me. For my wife, good ilsabil, Wills not as I'd have her will."
"Well, what does she want, now?" said the flounder.
"Alas," said he, "she wants to be like unto God."
"Go to her, and you will find her back again in the pig-stye."
And there they are still living to this day.
Story can be found at: http://www.americanliterature.com/childrens-stories/the-fisherman-and-his-wife
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